A little pink does you good

I think I may smell!

well thats what I am using to explain why every one I know is fecking off!

last week I found out my hiv nurse and my hiv doctor are both retiring at the end of the month which is a bit of a bummer! I know that I dont really think how they operate is great but I am sort of use to them and they know and have got use to my “funny ways” so know I will have to get use to some one else, hopefully it will be a man made of pecks! we will meet at my first appointment, fall in love he will then give up his job and we will move to somewhere hot and wear very little and spend days lying on the beach!!!!!!!

(back to reality) then my best friend in the whole world announced he is moving back to south africa for a few years!!! why on earth would you want to leave soggy cold wind swept Edinburgh?? its a real bummer too because we do every thing together tell each other everything and show each other everything else! so when he told me he was off I was kinda a little heart broken in fact still feel really crap but hey ho when its some one you love you want them to be happy

and last but not least my arch “nemesissy” aka the other hair-chopper/salon owner that lives in the same apartments as me split up with his boyfriend and moved out! how I will miss mincing past him in the lobby and our love each other hate each other banter we have the plus side is that he has a hot boyfriend and being the caring type I am I feel I should offer him a naked thigh to cry on!

in other news this week I spent sunday at the Kagyu Samye Ling temple where a friend of mine is a monk or becoming a monk, I often visit there but have not been able to for some time due to life crap! I dont go for any Buddhism-y reasons its just to visit a friend but its nice to spend the day there, the food could do with some meat on the side but I always leave with a nice calm feeling. If I was not so much of a city bird I would love to live in a place with that sort of feeling of calm. but I dont think I could give up my worldly goods.

Say something enough times and it sticks!

I like to joke on about my sexual exploits (maybe cause I am not getting any!!) so anywhooo as I arrive at work today I walked in to the staff room where I was met with the comment “you should watch yourself that guy died and he is in the same stuff as you” now first thing in the morning I am not on top from so as I stood there opened mouthed latte in hand I thought to myself “what the cracker am I in to that could kill me” I dont do drugs I dont drink to much I dont smoke?!?!? little did I know some tv guy had killed himself in some weird sex game, now about noon today I started to wonder why said member of staff thought I could kill myself as me and sex game presenter are in to the same things! anywhoo I was to busy to make any point of it and just let his comment lie.

So off to lunch I went, I was meeting friends and as soon as I had arrived one of said friends brought up the subject of this guy and me being in to the same thing!!! so when I asked where he got this information from he said “me” so after many gasps and intakes of air (not in a sexual way may I add) I found out a number of people I knew thought the same! and the reason is that I often speak of guys sex and rolls of sellotape lenghts of rubber hose pine in the same sentence and do you know I do!

Well to put the record straight I dont sellotape guys up I dont starve myself to get a high I am not sure what I would do with 5 foot of rubber hose pipe!

now with that I am off I have a man cling filmed to the back of the bedroom door and I have a prada flip flop with his name on it

I cant stand any kind of “hate crime” the world is full of enough bad things without people hating others for what they are/do or where they are from!

This weekend I read in the local paper about an Edinburgh gay couple that were forced to leave their home under police escort because of the homophobic abuse and threats made towards them!!

this really saddens me I moved to Edinburgh years ago to get away from this but as the years living here march on Edinburgh is becoming just as bad as back home! In the last 3 years I have had my shop window put in 3 times, my car sprayed 2 times with homophobic vileness, my flat and the block I live in has been egged stoned and petrol bombed (where I live is nearly all owned by gay people) a gay bar we were in one night was also petrol bombed I cant tell you the amount of times I have been attacked in the street by people shouting homophobic abuse and why? just because people dont agree with others being gay?! you phone the police and you get the ” we will come and deal with it once we have solved all the other crimes” attitude or if they do manage to put down the greggs sausage roll and  catch the people they get off with it and then because you have “grassed” you get it 100 times worse!

but dont worry Edinburgh police fly a pride flag every now and then to show their support!

Edinburgh is often said to be a mixing pot of all types of people and very accepting of everyone

MY ASS!

Doctors!! need I say any more? One was at the doctors on friday, I sometimes wonder why I bother! I go she asks how I am feeling, I say crap, she says nothing to do with HIV or any medication I am taking, she writes prescription tells me I should take some time off!! (chance would be a fine thing) I get bloods done, make new appointment for 3 months time I leave still feeling crap!

Now with my pink brain even I can see that there is something wrong with the “crap” I have to go through every three months!!! but why wont she listen?? both my GP and a private doctor say that they think it is my medication causing this but my hiv doctor says its not!!!!

aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!

whats a fairy to do? answers on a postcard

I’m sick!

and not in the “poked a puppy with a spoon way” I have the cold from hell, snot dripping, puffy eyes, red nose, sore body yuk yuk yuk! so I am at home feeling very sorry for myself! what makes it worse is last week I had my hair cut and its the scare dooooo from hell! there is noting worse than being ill and ugly! so to cheer my self up I bleached my hair white! and now wish I had not (god this gets worse) and on top of that I know that my Mr right will be out tonight and looking for me! and I am stuck at home in a ball of snot! (a sort of scene from alien!)

I have nothing planned for today so thought I would clean out my bag from last week! (life in the fast lane)

the following things were found!

1 bag (it was not found in my bag it was the bag in question! you will be able to sleep better at night knowing that)

1 pair of prada sunnys (not that we ever get any)

1  wallet with a selection of cards and a hot guys number

1 starbucks red card for coffee! 5p of every purchase goes to a aids in africa charity

1 torshiba camcorder (xtube here I come)

1 business cheque book (hardly ever used! do people still use cheques? if not why do I still carry it? so many questions)

1 bottle of comme des garcons (cause u gotta smell good for the boys)

1 tooth brush and blanx tooth paste (I think you can guess what that is for)

1 shaver just in case I need to shave!!!! (you might have guessed that)

1 ysl highlight pen to get rid of those black circles

1 lot of spare pills (just in case I forget to take them at home! then again if I have forgot them at home what makes me think I will remember the ones in my bag?!? I am just not that bright)

1 iphone charger (to charge my phone so I can call the hot guy in my wallet)

1 memory card reader

1  iphone (cant call him with out a phone)

1 lot of money (to pay for the meal after telling said guy I am hiv+ and he legs it)

2 sweets (when I get nervous I need to suck something and being single a boiled sweet is always at hand)

1 blingy watch (a sort of why did I buy that purchase)

keys to my flat and shops

1 tin of hand cream to keep them as soft as a babies ass (that always strikes me as a pervy thing to say!)

3 dog bones the food of choice of my last boyfriend!! (no they are for the girls)

1 pen

1 pink hair band and 3 clips (I hate having hair in my face when driving, no wonder I get tooted at on the road)

1 usb thing to keep all my home made blueys on!

1 music remote that I keep in my bag as if I dont the play gaga all day long!

and thats it! I was going to show you my over night bag but I was having trouble getting 5 foot of rubber hose in the frame any way maybe another time!

when do you tell someone you are hiv+?

ya I know this information needs to be given before you let a guy into your foundation garments! but when and how do you tell them?

you know how it goes guy meets guy! guy likes guy! flirty flirty happens! and in the normal world sexy sexy happens (not obviously that fast a girl likes to be wooed before sexy sexy happens!!) but when you are hiv+ you have the added bit of having to tell the guy what you have to put him in the picture! give him all the information!

so how do you tell him? a note? text? drop it in conversation when you are giving it big licks on the dance floor to Lady gaga? do you tell him over a candle lit meal? do you tell him before the bill arrives or after he has paid for the meal? do you tell him after a few sherry’s or when you are taking a romantic walk in the park? should you tell him just before the foundation garments come off? or wait until he is strapped to your dungeon wall with a gimp mask on?!?!? do you send a card with a poem in it ( I love you I hope you love me by the way do you know I have HIV!) how do you cope if you tell a guy and the next thing you know is you are left in a dust cloud! you stand there looking stupid as he runs for the hills!

its hard to know what to do! I am not getting any younger and do get offers and do date but I cant get to the next bit because I dont know what to do to! or what to say!

maybe I should put it on a t-shirt!

porridge! who invented the stuff? every morning I tuck into a bowl of porridge, why? well its not because I like it! its because its “good for you” as I was tucking in to mines this morning it got me thinking about all the things I do that are “good for me” that I dont like

my first meal of the day porridge yuk!

then off out either to the gym or to run round the park with my trainer (now having a trainer was a great at the beginning but I dont think he believes the whole groin strain thing any more and if it was not for the fact that he is so hot I would get rid)

mid morning coffee! as every one tucks in to there choca moca full fat marshmallow double flake and squirty cream coffee with double chocolate chip with chocolate chips on the side muffin I tuck in to my skinny latte and granola

something healthy for lunch hamster food for tea

all washed down with pills that I hate taking

ALL BECAUSE THESE THINGS ARE GOOD FOR YOU!

Well what a busy 2 weeks one has had! about 3 weeks ago I signed a 10 year lease on a shop in town! another salon?? not this time! this time a nail bar called HOT PINK, so the last week has been so busy its been unreal if its not picking furniture its been choosing flooring! trying to chase up builders or sifting through application forms and at last I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, so fingers crossed I will be ready to open next friday (well dont really have much choice, as we stand we are fully booked already)

I thought it would be really hard to find staff but its been really easy, My vision for the shop was a really girly place where ladies (burds) could go and have a glass of something fizzy while getting their nails done by really hunky blokes!! and out of the 5 members of staff I need to run the place 3 are really good looking guys!! so ya all is well in the hunky bloke department!!!!! (the other 2 are very booby burds) so all I really have to do now is choose uniforms, I was thinking thongs for the blokes and smocks for the girls! just so its pleasing to my eye!!!!

I also took the first steps to put all my businesses under the same name but as yet I cant come up with the right company name as the name I wanted is all ready registered (PINK INC) so I will need to get back to the drawing board and see what I come up with.

anyhoo I have the next few days off so can get some rest before the chaos of next week, apart from the doctors (again) I have nothing planned but chilling!!

how do they do it??

you know supermarkets!!!

you go in for a pint of milk and a loaf of bread and some how for some unknown reason when you get to the tills you have filled a basket!!

how does a loaf and some milk end up being eggs, bacon, noodles, orange juice, some hook for the back of your door that you have bought before and you know does not work but one buys it anyway, a smelly thing for your car, bottle of bleach, bar of chocolate and a pack of tampons!! how do they do it? (the tampons bit is not true)

I go in with all the right intentions, park car, in, bread, milk, till, pay, out!! jobs a good one!!! instead its park car, in, walk the isles like a lost sheep picking up things that I know will sit in my fridge until they are past their useby date!

what ever they do. it works!!!!