Hello world!

Well this is my first attempt at blogging!!!!

I am hoping that I can maybe get out some of the thoughts that go around my mind as I try to understand my life living with HIV. Its been a long time and I guess we have gown and become a part of each other. I have lived longer with HIV than without it. Trying to remember how I felt before HIV came along is now lost in my many other memories from the past.

I realize that for years I have kept hidden my true feelings, wanting to always project an image of ‘everything is fine’ . I have not aloud myself to be angry for the losses that HIV has inflicted on me or except the fear that it has at time overwhelmed me with.

For years I felt that is was being punished for doing sometime wrong or being a bad person. HIV was God’s finial conformation that I was not a worthy person. Luckily I have moved on from feeling like this you will be pleased to know.

Yet ……there ……right in the back of my mind……..hidden in the trashcan that I never want to open in my mind…..those thoughts lay there waiting to be released like the horrors in Pandora’s Box.

But as its not the day for the trash to be collected …….they can stay where they are !!!!!!

For today ……………its Hello world!